


Habit

by vyridian



Series: the spindle and the spinning wheel [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Breakup Sex, Broken Heart, F/M, Love Triangle, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Oneshot, Post-Game, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:59:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyridian/pseuds/vyridian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavellan deals with the aftermath of Solas leaving in the only way she knows how. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Habit

He wants to be gentle with her. The way he touches her, removes her clothes, kisses her, it's as if she's made of porcelain. She is so slight, her features fine and delicate, and he fears anything excessive will shatter her. 

She hates it. She's already shattered. She wants him to blow all her pieces to the wind.

Lavellan digs her fingernails into his back as she roughly sucks his bottom lip. She is aggressive, pushing herself onto him and demanding more. Her bare flesh is hot and he wonders hazily if the same fire that she shoots from her hands is now coursing underneath her very skin. 

She's grinding down against him, beckoning him to push into the heat between her legs. She is greedy. She doesn't ask what he wants, she only takes it.

_I don't love you._

_I don't...care._

"Fuck me," she breathes into his ear. "Fuck me hard."

He picks her up with a growl, her legs wrapping around him, pushing her back against the wall. She's light as a feather and for a moment he hesitates. She senses it and her fingers curl around his golden locks, pulling his head back and exposing his throat. He moans as her hot tongue snakes over the skin, her teeth finding purchase in the tender flesh and sinking down to mark him. He imagines the jealous faces of Bull and Sera when they see it and know she chose him again.

Cullen pulls his head back and looks at her face as he pushes himself into her. Her lips part and a lusty moan escapes before she sucks in a breath and grinds her hips against him eagerly.

Her eyes are closed. They're always closed. Every time he has taken her, he has never seen a hint of violet until he's spent and she's putting her clothes back on.

He wants to stop. He knows he's not really what she wants. But she clenches tightly around him and he forgets again, driving his cock deep into her and pounding her into the wall.

"Aeris," he groans, feeling the build up coming. "Say my name."

"Cullen."  _Solas._

"Again!"

"Cullen!"  _Solas!_

He's talking too much for her liking. She doesn't want him to talk. It ruins it. It ruins the fantasy.

She's had her fill of him. 

"Cum for me, Cullen." she purrs, feeling his grip around her tighten at the words.

He does. He gives a shuddering moan and she can feel the heat spreading inside her.

She's fine not getting off tonight. She never really can after he talks.

As she puts her clothes on she wonders again why she's still doing this. It's been months now, but the hole in her chest is still there. She still wakes up from dreams where she's running after him, crying out his name. She lays in her bed that is suddenly too big and she lets the tears slide down her face. 

_I've distracted you from your duty._

'Fuck you.' she thinks, as she angrily pulls her tunic on. 'Fuck you so much.'

She tries to remember what it felt like before she loved him, but she can't. It's as if he was always there, encompassing her entire life. 

"I was wondering..."

Lavellan snaps back to reality, turning to Cullen who is now lacing up his breeches.

"Hmm?"

He looks at her with so much hope that it sickens her.

"I was planning to visit my sister, Mia, back in Honnleath. I thought, well, if you might want to accompany me?"

It's like watching herself in front of Solas. 

_Solas, please, don't leave me. Not now._

Is this how he felt? Was he also trying to fill the void inside him and she just happened to be the first willing candidate? It felt so strange to suddenly be in his shoes.

But no...she had never told Cullen she loved him, like Solas had told her.

And yet...

_I am sorry, vhenan._

"I'm sorry, Cullen. Maybe this thing between us should stop now." she tells him.

She watches her own emotions from Crestwood flash across his face. Shock, hurt, confusion, and maybe a hint that he was expecting it.

"Aeris...I.." he fumbles for the right words to keep her.

"I am sorry, Cullen," she says, as if reciting a script she has burned into her mind every night now, "In another world, perhaps."

She turns and leaves his room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Cullen still stands there, defeat creeping into his bones. He feels a bruising pain in his chest as her words cut deeper and deeper. 

He should have known. She had come to him out of the blue, where she had been so reluctant before. And yet he had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that he might make her fall in love with him.

_In another world, perhaps._

"Why not this one?" he whispered sadly.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
